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**"we destroy everything, everything, including our own bodies" - david (dont do that you migt die ahhh)

**"I think the goal is to actually KILL the band" - David (yes then feed you to the squirrls)

**"you see that fridge, thats goin down, you see that wall over there, thats goin down, you see that fan over there, yep goin down, do u see....this arcade behind me, thats goin see that set of stairs?
Thats stayin... sorry!" - Seb (thats ok ill knock them down)

**"I have to drive this...we're gonna die" - pierre (at least im not driving it)

**"there is a big dragon, eating cars and spitting fire!" - seb (Well then tell Jeff to calm down)

**"piss our names in the snow" - david (do mine to i am incapeable)

**"when there's no top on the bus - its windy!" - seb (what happens when the bus isnt moving?)

**"Im not drinking beer right now..." *hides beer can* - jeff (me either *snatches his beer* now i am)

**"look banana ...double banana!it means its got two bananas in it! - david (oh thats what double means)

**"Dont go outside, stay online!" - chuck (one day we'll be able to go outside on the computer)

**"word up mofo's!" - pierre (which word?)

**"It takes a lot of balls for 5 canadian boys to get out there and want to conquer the world!" - jeff  (what kind of balls?)

**"It takes 10 balls!" - pierre (WHAT KIND AHHHH!!!)

**"Its for my gay friend Ted...I'm a dick-ted..." - pierre (is there something you arent telling us?)

**"kid spelled backwards is dik!" - seb (woah your smart.)

**"I find Benji more attractive than joel, he's more my style, if i were a girl, i'd do him first!" - pierre (oo me too)

**"I see stuff like...i hope you choke on broken glass! YAH! i want to! - chuck (no chuck, u dont but if you do let me recomend a glass company)

**"My mom's a virgin" - jeff (uh huh and i hate alcohol)

**"All of you kids that like to be online...visit!" chuck (been there done that)

**"I'm the party animal!" - pierre (i want to see that animal party)

**"I was in a bathtub two nights ago in front of like...a lot of people i was like...WOOHOO!" - pierre (hey thats weird so was i)

**"Isn't it great being in a bathtub naked?" - david (no i like to be in it with all my clothes on it feels neat)

**"girl-girl action is so beautiful" - chuck (depending on the girl-girl)

**"I'm all drugged up!" - seb(can i join)

**"we're french, we speak canadian" - david (wow what does canadian sound like?)

**"wheneva i take pictures they r like...your in like i know, i landed yesterday... I KNOW, I'M
AWARE! i got it...Jamaica" - chuck (oh hey chuck youre in jamaca)

**"He's got a zebra fetish" - Jeff (Referring To David) (so does that turn him on? i ll show him some zebra)

**Interviewer: "Earlier Seb went to pee......"
All of The Band: (cuts him off and starts clapping and cheering so Seb as if it were his first time) (oh my god seb peed no way)

**"We'll play...because we're in a band...we play know, we're a band playing music..." -Pierre(Trying to Explain what the in store HMV was) (what? oh so thats what a band does)

**David: "Does Anyone here smoke weed??"
Crowd: (raises there hands)
David: "Then that means you have a lighter, so put them in the air!!" (David Introducing "Perfect") (i dont but i have a lighter does that count can i still put it in the air?)

**Pierre: "This next song is about, you know how girls can make you do crazy and stupid
Guy From The Crowd: "THEN KEEP YOUR PANTS ON NEXT TIME!!" (shut up he like to take his pants off)

**Interviewer: "Is it hard to put on a show every night?"
Pierre: "No, sometimes it's's even harder for people like us that are not very smart you know, remembering all the notes and everything!" (i feel ya)

**"Who here have been to heaven? or space?......yeah, me neither!! Does anyone here believe in aliens??! I think there's one perfect for me!" -Pierre(introducing "My Alien" at a concert) (hey im an alien come meet me)

**"I will come to your house, and I will cut you!" -Seb (i will go to your room and i will scream at your matress)

**"I used to clean the stupid toilets at my stupid high school!" -Seb (what did you clean them with? Spit?)

**"Today we're gunna sing 'The Worst Day Ever' because my vocal cords have been having the worst day
ever!" -Pierre (i doubt it i ll make your vocal cords have the worst day ever)

**"I usually get one or two girls looking at me while I sing...oh blah,blah,blah!" -Pierre (thats some great singing)

**"Basically, like that's the end of the studio tour...this is the shower, this is the toilet, and this is the sink, and that's all we have to show you right now!" -Seb (i love the sink)

**"Yo, Stop! Collaborate and listen, Ice is back with a brand new invention...VOCALS!" -Pierre (ice invented that?)

**Pierre: "Well I gotta do my hair. It's a pretty complicated process...I gotta wet them, then I gotta let them dry in their natural state..then I apply the umm..."
Patrick: "SPERM!" (I KNEW IT!!! thats what guys use)

**"Seb was acting pretty early, and Seb's acting was so fucking unbelievable, I took pictures like a fucking tourist!" -David (You are a tourist)

**"I get outta the car, then I get run over by a bus, And then I umm...I guess that I Didn't die....Cuz um...yeah...oh wait I’ll go get my…" (goes to get wheelchair) -Seb (you little cheater you can walk)

**Pierre: "I puked all day, I feel like Shit!"
Patrick: "YOU smell like SHIT!" (he he has he not looked in the mirror)

**"Hey what's up I'm about to apply the sperm to my hair as you saw earlier, I'm not quite there yet...I still have to extract it from the source!" -Pierre (lemme help pleeese)

**"I had a little bit too much to drink, and umm......I hope you have a good time!!!" -Pierre (only if you give me what you had to drink)

**Chuck: "This is how I look when I take my t-shirt off!(points at big muscular black man)"
Patrick: "You turn into a big black guy???"
Chuck: *laughs* Yes!! (so do i)

**Chuck: "Sup dawg, where's your girls?"
Patrick: "You got em under control rite?"
Boy: "Yeah!"
Patrick: "You got your girls on the leash right?"
Boy: "Oh yeah! See you attach them here(points at bracelet)"
Patrick: "You wear the pants in that relationship huh?"
Boy: ".......These aren't my pants" (yeah you stole them from me)

Patrick: "How would you describe youself in 4 words?"
Pierre: ".......very good in bed!!" (try extreamly)

**(German lady talks 2 the dudes listening 2 the radio, simple plan dont av a clue wot she is on about)
Chuck: "Are you talkin about my penis??" (she might not have been talking about it but she was thinking about it)

**Pierre: "This is the Eiffel Tower"
Seb: "It symbolizes the French penis in its glory!" (you would know)

**"Everywhere in the world if you wanna call me my number is 1-800-Sex-With-Jeff!!" -Jeff (liar i tried it you lied)

**"I'm actually glad I'm still alive, we were all sleeping and all of a sudden it fuckin went like...(Shakes the Camera)....and um I screamed like a fucking girl apparently." -David (thats a good thing)

**"When you fold your boxers and leave them in your luggage for a week they become clean again! Words of wisdom." - Chuck (i dont have boxers but i will buy some and try that)

**"We found a bird that has the same hair cut as David.......the comparison is uncanny!" -Pat (dont birds have feathers)

**Pierre: "This is the koolest thing ever....the koolest thing in the world!"
Pat: "Wat are you doing?"
Pierre: "Feeding kangaroos can't ya tell?" (thats a kangaroo?)

**Much music: "so, what do you guys do for fun?" David: "we tell jokes!" Pierre: "Jokes? *laughs* jokes..." (tell me one tell me one)

**That guy was funny, he made me laugh a lot - seb (hence the word funny)

**what about ggbi...? good guy bad interview *goes hysterical* - chuck (what about it)

**much music: "So...are you guys vegetarians?" David: "no...we kill animals" (mmmm meat)

"I'm depressed i need to talk, i just need friends *grabs camera* YOUR MY FRIEND THANK YOU SO MUCH!" - chuck (ok ok i ll be your friend too)

**"This is a naturally preserved body of man, in a reconstructed grave kit, this guys been there 5,000 years.....*whispers* and his penis is not there anymore! -Pierre (and that will happen to you too)

**"It's all about the elephants!" - Pierre (yes the are smarter then me)

**"Guys, what the heck?!!?!" -David (they cant help it)

**"Does anyone know who this girl in our hotel room is?" -Pat (me me pick me)

"It's that time of week aagain where I gotta brush them teeth...What? 3 times a day my ass!" -Pat (i feel ya lol)

**Pierre: "Let's go check on our little slave."
Pat: "Oh, Oh Pierre gimme water I think I got a heat stroke!"
Pierre: "Shut the fuck up you pussy!" (pussy heat stroke ouch)

**"This is Pat's favorite jelly.....shhh!!" (pours jelly ova pat's head while he's asleep) -Pierre (he prolly liked that)

**"Oh Pat, get in there I just took a dump, your lunch is ready man!" -Jeff (hey i thought that was your fav)

**"Hi um, This is Pierre and, um as you can see here this is Patrick's back and I slapped him. So I deserve a beating" -Pierre (ill do it)

**"This is my bro Pat and I just kicked his fucking ass!" -Pierre (he has a fuckin ass?)

**"Pat's ironic humor and sarcastic behavior has gotten him into trouble once again... and um, now he has
a black eye! A Little shiner as we call it!" -Pierre  (so when do you get in trouble)

**"That was the fuckin coolest shit, Chuck drinkin that shit, I can't believe it! I cannot believe it!" -David (believe it you got it on tape)

**"I'm not less of a man if i cry!" -Seb (yes you are)

**"When I'm gunna be, you know, 80 and all wrinkled I'm gunna be like "What the hell does SP mean....AH! I remember!" -Seb (Stupid pumpkin?)

**Pat: "You know that movie on the website where uh, Jeff Dances?
Pierre: "Yeah?"
Pat: "You think he's a good dancer?"
Pierre: "Ithink he's pretty good, I think he invented this new style. I think Jeff is a good dancer...For a future reference anytime I say dancer, I mean stripper" (ill keep that in mid so if you ask if i wanna dance you're really asking if i wanna strip?)

**"Hey what's up, we're going to Jamaica right now and I manged to steal Chuck's bag this is where he
keeps all the important stuff: passports, computer, paperwork, everything! And it's so nice I don't want it to get wrecked and everything so we're gunna wrap it for him!...................... He's Gunna Be So PISSED OFF!!" -David (lol now lets wrap your bag)

**"Hey, you know I have the bubble jet right where my penis is, and it feels great! AHHH!!" -David (i know how that feels except minus the penis)

**David: "I'm Just relaxing"
Pat: "Why are you peeing in the shower, there's a bathroom right here?"
David: "I love peeing in the's more relaxing...." (me too wow we have something in common)

**"I just came into the dressing room and the guys are getting ready before their show. I don't know why they're takin this whole group shower, they're rubbing each other's backs...I don't know what the heck is going
on but this is kinda scary so I'm leaving" - Pat (aww you know you wanna join)

**Pierre: "The housekeeping this morning came and fucking knocked at the door 4 times....Once at 8, once at 9, once a 10!
Pat: "What are you gunna do about it?" (um thats 3 times wheres the forth)
Pierre: "I'm gunna say fuck that shit! We're gunna fuck some shit up man, you wanna clean the fuckin room? We'll give you a reason to clean the fuckin room! Wanna see this fuckin room messed up?!?!" (yeah lemme help you mess it up)

**"Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck You, Your Fired" -Chuck (ive heard that somewhere before)

**Seb: "Ok we're done! Let's Go Home"
Pierre: "To The Trailer!!!!!!!!!!"  (you guys live in the same thing as i do lol jk)

**Interviewer: If you guys were all on Survivor, who would be voted off first?
Seb: We'd survive as a team but yeah, I'd vote for Pierre cuz the other day he told me he didn't like my hair. (well you are supposed to have honesty on a team)

**VH1:Which member of the band is most likely to fall out of the tour bus drunk?
SL: I was going to say Jeff.
CC: Or Pierre…
SL: Yeah. But fall out drunk? I don’t know. Pierre might be naked and get out of the bus. But fall out? That’s Jeff.
VH1: How did the whole naked thing start?
SL: Pierre becomes an exhibitionist when he’s drunk.
CC: He’s just proud of his body.
SL: I don’t think he’s proud … he’s just not shy.
PB [ambling over]: You talking about me?
SL: Yeah. You like to be naked when you are drunk.
PB: I don’t like it. It just happens....and that goes with it!
VH1: Where’s the most unusual place that you have woken up with no clothes on?
PB: I don’t usually wake up anywhere, I just end up there. Like we were having a party in my hotel and I just stripped down and got into the bath.
SL: He was like “Unnnnhhhh, I am having a bath now ...” and he stripped down and went in the bathtub. (wow randomness me likey)

**Pierre: "Mom i luv u. i'm gonna call umore often. rock on, moms!"
David: "I'm going to call u more too, Mom. Moms are cool!" (obviously you havent met mine)

**"I saw someone being bullied and went up to him and told him to come hang out with us.That was the end of his being bullied days." -Seb (id still bully him lol)

**"Whats up?....we're on the red carpet...I ALMOST TRIPPED!!" -David (i would have )

**"Why would they wanna take pictures of me?" -seb (i dont know better then taking pictures otf the floor)
you can tell im obsessed with quotes
Add a Comment:
YouMeAtMaydaySirens Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012  Student Writer
I love this...their amazing.
NeverEndersHope Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012
I love this. favorite quote "I have to drive this.. we're gonna die"
PotterPreacher Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XD That was funny
EchoRoll Featured By Owner May 14, 2012
This was so funny! :XD: :XD: :XD: :XD: I love Simple Pln so much! :XD: :XD:
ahsokatano1717 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2010  Student Photographer
OMG! I so remember these! David ROX!!!
SimplePlanFan101 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2007
I SO LOVE DAVID!!!!!!!!!!!! :heart: these quotes are funney! :+fav:
JosayPoo Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2007
Arent these all from the DVD?
punkturedstranger Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
i dont know i got them off a website somewhere
JosayPoo Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2007
Ah, yeah I think they're all mostly from the DVD.
diabeticandproud Featured By Owner May 24, 2006
omg ive seen half of these before but ur little comments put a whole new spin on everything and made it 10 times funnier.
punkturedstranger Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks so much yeah im a funny guy except im a girl but yeah i loe doing that with quotes
diabeticandproud Featured By Owner May 24, 2006
heres another quote (or more) of theirs that i found
"I have a gambling problem. I bet my ass and lost it!" - Pierre

"When I was younger and played hockey I wanted to be swedish." - Chuck

"This darkness is making me think of kinky stuff!" - David
greendaygirl Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2005
ibizaro Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011
Same here XD <3
punkturedstranger Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
mr too hes my favorite
greendaygirl Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2005
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