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Submitted on
April 23, 2005
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31 (who?)
**"we destroy everything, everything, including our own bodies" - david (dont do that you migt die ahhh)

**"I think the goal is to actually KILL the band" - David (yes then feed you to the squirrls)

**"you see that fridge, thats goin down, you see that wall over there, thats goin down, you see that fan over there, yep goin down, do u see....this arcade behind me, thats goin see that set of stairs?
Thats stayin... sorry!" - Seb (thats ok ill knock them down)

**"I have to drive this...we're gonna die" - pierre (at least im not driving it)

**"there is a big dragon, eating cars and spitting fire!" - seb (Well then tell Jeff to calm down)

**"piss our names in the snow" - david (do mine to i am incapeable)

**"when there's no top on the bus - its windy!" - seb (what happens when the bus isnt moving?)

**"Im not drinking beer right now..." *hides beer can* - jeff (me either *snatches his beer* now i am)

**"look banana ...double banana!it means its got two bananas in it! - david (oh thats what double means)

**"Dont go outside, stay online!" - chuck (one day we'll be able to go outside on the computer)

**"word up mofo's!" - pierre (which word?)

**"It takes a lot of balls for 5 canadian boys to get out there and want to conquer the world!" - jeff  (what kind of balls?)

**"It takes 10 balls!" - pierre (WHAT KIND AHHHH!!!)

**"Its for my gay friend Ted...I'm a dick-ted..." - pierre (is there something you arent telling us?)

**"kid spelled backwards is dik!" - seb (woah your smart.)

**"I find Benji more attractive than joel, he's more my style, if i were a girl, i'd do him first!" - pierre (oo me too)

**"I see stuff like...i hope you choke on broken glass! YAH! i want to! - chuck (no chuck, u dont but if you do let me recomend a glass company)

**"My mom's a virgin" - jeff (uh huh and i hate alcohol)

**"All of you kids that like to be online...visit!" chuck (been there done that)

**"I'm the party animal!" - pierre (i want to see that animal party)

**"I was in a bathtub two nights ago in front of like...a lot of people i was like...WOOHOO!" - pierre (hey thats weird so was i)

**"Isn't it great being in a bathtub naked?" - david (no i like to be in it with all my clothes on it feels neat)

**"girl-girl action is so beautiful" - chuck (depending on the girl-girl)

**"I'm all drugged up!" - seb(can i join)

**"we're french, we speak canadian" - david (wow what does canadian sound like?)

**"wheneva i take pictures they r like...your in like i know, i landed yesterday... I KNOW, I'M
AWARE! i got it...Jamaica" - chuck (oh hey chuck youre in jamaca)

**"He's got a zebra fetish" - Jeff (Referring To David) (so does that turn him on? i ll show him some zebra)

**Interviewer: "Earlier Seb went to pee......"
All of The Band: (cuts him off and starts clapping and cheering so Seb as if it were his first time) (oh my god seb peed no way)

**"We'll play...because we're in a band...we play know, we're a band playing music..." -Pierre(Trying to Explain what the in store HMV was) (what? oh so thats what a band does)

**David: "Does Anyone here smoke weed??"
Crowd: (raises there hands)
David: "Then that means you have a lighter, so put them in the air!!" (David Introducing "Perfect") (i dont but i have a lighter does that count can i still put it in the air?)

**Pierre: "This next song is about, you know how girls can make you do crazy and stupid
Guy From The Crowd: "THEN KEEP YOUR PANTS ON NEXT TIME!!" (shut up he like to take his pants off)

**Interviewer: "Is it hard to put on a show every night?"
Pierre: "No, sometimes it's's even harder for people like us that are not very smart you know, remembering all the notes and everything!" (i feel ya)

**"Who here have been to heaven? or space?......yeah, me neither!! Does anyone here believe in aliens??! I think there's one perfect for me!" -Pierre(introducing "My Alien" at a concert) (hey im an alien come meet me)

**"I will come to your house, and I will cut you!" -Seb (i will go to your room and i will scream at your matress)

**"I used to clean the stupid toilets at my stupid high school!" -Seb (what did you clean them with? Spit?)

**"Today we're gunna sing 'The Worst Day Ever' because my vocal cords have been having the worst day
ever!" -Pierre (i doubt it i ll make your vocal cords have the worst day ever)

**"I usually get one or two girls looking at me while I sing...oh blah,blah,blah!" -Pierre (thats some great singing)

**"Basically, like that's the end of the studio tour...this is the shower, this is the toilet, and this is the sink, and that's all we have to show you right now!" -Seb (i love the sink)

**"Yo, Stop! Collaborate and listen, Ice is back with a brand new invention...VOCALS!" -Pierre (ice invented that?)

**Pierre: "Well I gotta do my hair. It's a pretty complicated process...I gotta wet them, then I gotta let them dry in their natural state..then I apply the umm..."
Patrick: "SPERM!" (I KNEW IT!!! thats what guys use)

**"Seb was acting pretty early, and Seb's acting was so fucking unbelievable, I took pictures like a fucking tourist!" -David (You are a tourist)

**"I get outta the car, then I get run over by a bus, And then I umm...I guess that I Didn't die....Cuz um...yeah...oh wait I’ll go get my…" (goes to get wheelchair) -Seb (you little cheater you can walk)

**Pierre: "I puked all day, I feel like Shit!"
Patrick: "YOU smell like SHIT!" (he he has he not looked in the mirror)

**"Hey what's up I'm about to apply the sperm to my hair as you saw earlier, I'm not quite there yet...I still have to extract it from the source!" -Pierre (lemme help pleeese)

**"I had a little bit too much to drink, and umm......I hope you have a good time!!!" -Pierre (only if you give me what you had to drink)

**Chuck: "This is how I look when I take my t-shirt off!(points at big muscular black man)"
Patrick: "You turn into a big black guy???"
Chuck: *laughs* Yes!! (so do i)

**Chuck: "Sup dawg, where's your girls?"
Patrick: "You got em under control rite?"
Boy: "Yeah!"
Patrick: "You got your girls on the leash right?"
Boy: "Oh yeah! See you attach them here(points at bracelet)"
Patrick: "You wear the pants in that relationship huh?"
Boy: ".......These aren't my pants" (yeah you stole them from me)

Patrick: "How would you describe youself in 4 words?"
Pierre: ".......very good in bed!!" (try extreamly)

**(German lady talks 2 the dudes listening 2 the radio, simple plan dont av a clue wot she is on about)
Chuck: "Are you talkin about my penis??" (she might not have been talking about it but she was thinking about it)

**Pierre: "This is the Eiffel Tower"
Seb: "It symbolizes the French penis in its glory!" (you would know)

**"Everywhere in the world if you wanna call me my number is 1-800-Sex-With-Jeff!!" -Jeff (liar i tried it you lied)

**"I'm actually glad I'm still alive, we were all sleeping and all of a sudden it fuckin went like...(Shakes the Camera)....and um I screamed like a fucking girl apparently." -David (thats a good thing)

**"When you fold your boxers and leave them in your luggage for a week they become clean again! Words of wisdom." - Chuck (i dont have boxers but i will buy some and try that)

**"We found a bird that has the same hair cut as David.......the comparison is uncanny!" -Pat (dont birds have feathers)

**Pierre: "This is the koolest thing ever....the koolest thing in the world!"
Pat: "Wat are you doing?"
Pierre: "Feeding kangaroos can't ya tell?" (thats a kangaroo?)

**Much music: "so, what do you guys do for fun?" David: "we tell jokes!" Pierre: "Jokes? *laughs* jokes..." (tell me one tell me one)

**That guy was funny, he made me laugh a lot - seb (hence the word funny)

**what about ggbi...? good guy bad interview *goes hysterical* - chuck (what about it)

**much music: "So...are you guys vegetarians?" David: "no...we kill animals" (mmmm meat)

"I'm depressed i need to talk, i just need friends *grabs camera* YOUR MY FRIEND THANK YOU SO MUCH!" - chuck (ok ok i ll be your friend too)

**"This is a naturally preserved body of man, in a reconstructed grave kit, this guys been there 5,000 years.....*whispers* and his penis is not there anymore! -Pierre (and that will happen to you too)

**"It's all about the elephants!" - Pierre (yes the are smarter then me)

**"Guys, what the heck?!!?!" -David (they cant help it)

**"Does anyone know who this girl in our hotel room is?" -Pat (me me pick me)

"It's that time of week aagain where I gotta brush them teeth...What? 3 times a day my ass!" -Pat (i feel ya lol)

**Pierre: "Let's go check on our little slave."
Pat: "Oh, Oh Pierre gimme water I think I got a heat stroke!"
Pierre: "Shut the fuck up you pussy!" (pussy heat stroke ouch)

**"This is Pat's favorite jelly.....shhh!!" (pours jelly ova pat's head while he's asleep) -Pierre (he prolly liked that)

**"Oh Pat, get in there I just took a dump, your lunch is ready man!" -Jeff (hey i thought that was your fav)

**"Hi um, This is Pierre and, um as you can see here this is Patrick's back and I slapped him. So I deserve a beating" -Pierre (ill do it)

**"This is my bro Pat and I just kicked his fucking ass!" -Pierre (he has a fuckin ass?)

**"Pat's ironic humor and sarcastic behavior has gotten him into trouble once again... and um, now he has
a black eye! A Little shiner as we call it!" -Pierre  (so when do you get in trouble)

**"That was the fuckin coolest shit, Chuck drinkin that shit, I can't believe it! I cannot believe it!" -David (believe it you got it on tape)

**"I'm not less of a man if i cry!" -Seb (yes you are)

**"When I'm gunna be, you know, 80 and all wrinkled I'm gunna be like "What the hell does SP mean....AH! I remember!" -Seb (Stupid pumpkin?)

**Pat: "You know that movie on the website where uh, Jeff Dances?
Pierre: "Yeah?"
Pat: "You think he's a good dancer?"
Pierre: "Ithink he's pretty good, I think he invented this new style. I think Jeff is a good dancer...For a future reference anytime I say dancer, I mean stripper" (ill keep that in mid so if you ask if i wanna dance you're really asking if i wanna strip?)

**"Hey what's up, we're going to Jamaica right now and I manged to steal Chuck's bag this is where he
keeps all the important stuff: passports, computer, paperwork, everything! And it's so nice I don't want it to get wrecked and everything so we're gunna wrap it for him!...................... He's Gunna Be So PISSED OFF!!" -David (lol now lets wrap your bag)

**"Hey, you know I have the bubble jet right where my penis is, and it feels great! AHHH!!" -David (i know how that feels except minus the penis)

**David: "I'm Just relaxing"
Pat: "Why are you peeing in the shower, there's a bathroom right here?"
David: "I love peeing in the's more relaxing...." (me too wow we have something in common)

**"I just came into the dressing room and the guys are getting ready before their show. I don't know why they're takin this whole group shower, they're rubbing each other's backs...I don't know what the heck is going
on but this is kinda scary so I'm leaving" - Pat (aww you know you wanna join)

**Pierre: "The housekeeping this morning came and fucking knocked at the door 4 times....Once at 8, once at 9, once a 10!
Pat: "What are you gunna do about it?" (um thats 3 times wheres the forth)
Pierre: "I'm gunna say fuck that shit! We're gunna fuck some shit up man, you wanna clean the fuckin room? We'll give you a reason to clean the fuckin room! Wanna see this fuckin room messed up?!?!" (yeah lemme help you mess it up)

**"Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck You, Your Fired" -Chuck (ive heard that somewhere before)

**Seb: "Ok we're done! Let's Go Home"
Pierre: "To The Trailer!!!!!!!!!!"  (you guys live in the same thing as i do lol jk)

**Interviewer: If you guys were all on Survivor, who would be voted off first?
Seb: We'd survive as a team but yeah, I'd vote for Pierre cuz the other day he told me he didn't like my hair. (well you are supposed to have honesty on a team)

**VH1:Which member of the band is most likely to fall out of the tour bus drunk?
SL: I was going to say Jeff.
CC: Or Pierre…
SL: Yeah. But fall out drunk? I don’t know. Pierre might be naked and get out of the bus. But fall out? That’s Jeff.
VH1: How did the whole naked thing start?
SL: Pierre becomes an exhibitionist when he’s drunk.
CC: He’s just proud of his body.
SL: I don’t think he’s proud … he’s just not shy.
PB [ambling over]: You talking about me?
SL: Yeah. You like to be naked when you are drunk.
PB: I don’t like it. It just happens....and that goes with it!
VH1: Where’s the most unusual place that you have woken up with no clothes on?
PB: I don’t usually wake up anywhere, I just end up there. Like we were having a party in my hotel and I just stripped down and got into the bath.
SL: He was like “Unnnnhhhh, I am having a bath now ...” and he stripped down and went in the bathtub. (wow randomness me likey)

**Pierre: "Mom i luv u. i'm gonna call umore often. rock on, moms!"
David: "I'm going to call u more too, Mom. Moms are cool!" (obviously you havent met mine)

**"I saw someone being bullied and went up to him and told him to come hang out with us.That was the end of his being bullied days." -Seb (id still bully him lol)

**"Whats up?....we're on the red carpet...I ALMOST TRIPPED!!" -David (i would have )

**"Why would they wanna take pictures of me?" -seb (i dont know better then taking pictures otf the floor)
you can tell im obsessed with quotes
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YouMeAtMaydaySirens Jul 7, 2012  Student Writer
I love this...their amazing.
I love this. favorite quote "I have to drive this.. we're gonna die"
PotterPreacher Jul 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XD That was funny
This was so funny! :XD: :XD: :XD: :XD: I love Simple Pln so much! :XD: :XD:
ahsokatano1717 Jan 7, 2010  Student Photographer
OMG! I so remember these! David ROX!!!
I SO LOVE DAVID!!!!!!!!!!!! :heart: these quotes are funney! :+fav:
Arent these all from the DVD?
punkturedstranger Apr 3, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
i dont know i got them off a website somewhere
Ah, yeah I think they're all mostly from the DVD.
omg ive seen half of these before but ur little comments put a whole new spin on everything and made it 10 times funnier.
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